Monday, May 3, 2010


What’s that booger there doing? Who are these people? Weirdos. That’s a double decker, the third one. Why are they such weirdos? I have to turn them upside down. They just look worse. Why are they by themselves? I think everybody in the world would avoid them. For God’s sakes, if you saw those four coming at you, you’d go the other way, wouldn’t you?

There’s a fourth one with his arms around the third one. It’s got to be a person or a kangaroo. The person behind the dinosaur is holding him down. Is he dangerous? Sometimes. Because he’s ambidextrous. What’s your excuse for him? For the whole bunch. I think they’re at a convention. What kind of a convention could those four go to? The nuts of the world?

I don’t believe the one on the end is real. It doesn’t look real. There are four feet, but only two of them look like real feet. Oh well, you’re taxing my brain.

I’m sick of listening to you. No, that’s a joke.

I think everybody is avoiding them. Is this a wedding? Because of where they’re sitting. I think the one on the right is the groom. You’ll know when this is over. That’s the damnedest thing I’ve ever heard. They’re lined up to go to the crazy farm, that’s all I can say.

What are their names? Dinkem, Blinkem, and Ud. They’re all saying, “Why in the world did that stupid person tell me to come out here and sit?” He has to be crazy. Where’s the bride? How they got together I don’t know, but whoever is responsible for it should be ostracized and thrown out of town.

They’re underneath a viaduct. They’re sitting there waiting for the train. Where is the train going to take them? I know where it should take them. The crazy farm is just ten miles down the road. They got lost from someplace. Probably from the crazy farm. They just walked out.

I don’t know who dreamed up their costumes but they’re weird. There has to be some reason behind each of them. It looks like there’s no place else to go. I don’t see any signs that say, “Free eats this way.” The first one is trying to hide from someone, the second one said, “I don’t give a damn,” and the third one can’t get away.

Why are they in the corner? That’s got to be something. That’s all right. Why not? They’re dressed very inappropriately if it’s hot out. The idiot with the hat on. The woman has a lot on. And the other one just gave up. The one lady is holding him down. She’s looking off this way and saying, “Somebody come help me.” That means you! What would you do? I would avoid the dinosaur person. I don’t believe you. I don’t trust a person whose face I can’t see. Maybe his face just broke out that morning. They all four look like odd fellows. I don’t mean the club, they’re just odd. Weird. Bunco. Your friends. You could just slam the door and scare them all away.

There’s no bride there. There’s no bride left. The bride is hiding as an astronaut. My question is, where do they find four people dumb enough to sit there like that and have their picture taken?

What’s below them? Looks like just dirt, and a box sitting over here on something. I say it’s under a bridge. There’s only four people there. They had to meet somewhere. “I’ll meet you under the bridge. Okay. Bring a friend.” They just happened to be there. Where you’d come from? I just came down to the bridge. It’s that time of day to come down to the bridge. They don’t look like bosom buddies. She’s just sitting in the middle. The other one is taking advantage of the poor, disorganized, unorthodox creature. He’s half man and half mouse. If he wasn’t, he’d be up doing something.

Is that you, Tony? Yeah! What are you doing there? Playing. Who is the astronaut? Neil Armstrong. Oh, is that where he ended up? That’s fantastic. I’m glad you saw it. Now we all know what happened to Neil Armstrong.

Who is on the right? They’re cozy, whoever they are. She’s holding his arms down. She’s not doing that. They’re both smiling. That’s not a person, that’s a light meter. You put a nickel in it and you get to park. It’s not a real person, it’s a machine. The one behind the guy sitting on the end. You can tell that’s a dial and a slot to put the nickel in. You just have to recognize it and put the nickel in.

Nobody else around. So it must be under a bridge or somewhere that’s not accessible. Where is everyone else? That looks like Cleveland, Ohio. That’s a stupid question, I’ll give you a stupid answer. They saw those four sitting there and they said, “Let’s get out of here!”

Where are they going to go next? Well, I know where they should go. Back to the crazy farm. Will the people go looking for them? No, they don’t want them. They’re too crazy to go to the crazy farm.

The people are going to stay right there so they don’t have to move.

I lived in Germany. That’s what wrong with me. When did you live there? Right after the war. Occupation. Nobody had any control over the Bavarians. They did what they wanted. I was there because the US Air Force ordered me there. My husband was in it. I just tagged along. Dochow. You go into the prison camp, and you’d go so far, and there was a guard at the gate. You’d go two miles down the road and it hit you. You knew you were in a prison camp. When I was there, they hadn’t cleaned it up. There were still bodies hanging. When you went through the crematorium where they burned the bodies, there was a man hanging there with a sign around his neck that said, “Look, I have returned.” It wasn’t very pretty. My house was outstandingly beautiful. Right on the river. I could not have afforded anything like that in the US. My next-door neighbor was the daughter of a Baptist minister in Georgia. She was a lot of fun to get along with. I used to think of things just to irk her. I’ve always been good at that. Ask my mother and my brother. He’ll take fifteen hours to tell you how much I irked him. He just didn’t know how hard I worked on it. I worked on it twenty-four hours a day sometimes. I’d catch him at it. He tried his damnedest to irk me and he couldn’t. We came from a big family of irkers.

The guy in the suit just found it and put it on. He was in the dressing room and he just found it and thought “That’ll be fun.” He wants people to ask him about it so he can describe what it was like on the moon. He had lots of friends. Where are his friends now?

They’re going to get a necklace. He’s probably right. It means you’re telling a fib when your nose itches. Didn’t you know that?

Why isn’t there anybody else there with them? They’ve been told to get out. The man in charge. Who’s the man in charge? You don’t know. You better not go there.

How do you think this story is going to end? They’re going to get up and go someplace. I guess they’ll all go home.

STORY BY: Barbara, Dottie, Patricia, Tony, Gussy

HELPERS: Terry, Collin, Kennedy, Sarah

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